The first of many.

.beginning.

It hit me today. How I'm 21, and the strangest girl I've ever met.

Most of the girls I know are in the same type of boat I'm in, they are trying to figure out who they are. That's understandable. At 21 it's time to START growing up and figure out what is in the great unknown. I was a over zealous teenager and stressed at 14 about what I was going to do for the rest of my life. While that's sometimes normal, I remember being so incredibly distressed when I realized that what I had planned to be "when I grew up" wasn't going to pan out. This happened a few times.

It started with meteorologist. I think I was 10 and told my parents "I want to be a weather girl". It was just what I wanted to do. I wanted to report the weather every night to people of the DFW area. HA!

Then came actress! Typical I know. What 13 year old girl doesn't want to be a famous actress?
I wanted to be a stage actress. I think I was having such a good time being on stage I didn't realize how unpractical it was for me. There were all these other girls and guys around me who were just so much more talented and so much more passionate about theater. I loved doing it, but there was something missing and I could just not figure out what that link was.

My sophomore year in high school a new friend of mine told me to join the school newspaper. I didn't really have a lot of friends in high school and the aspect of making a new one was worth joining some class I had no interest in. So I signed up and the first day of class our sponsor asked me what I wanted to write. I told her I liked movies and music a lot, not dare thinking that on my first day I would get to write what I wanted to. Although to my surprise, no one else wanted to write about entertainment. So I got the entire page to myself. A free page to write whatever I wanted about the entertainment world. I won a few awards that year for my page, but what I gained the most, was this experience. This love for the written word. The fact that I could write something and 1000 kids would pick it up 6 times a year and read it. Yeah, this is slim pickins' I know, but it felt so real, and so right.

So I'm four years out of high school. I'm supposed to be wrapping up my last semester in college and going on to grad school in the fall. But here I am, working for one of the biggest, hypocritical companies in the world, and taking as many hours at a local community college as I can fit in to my 40 hour work week without pulling ALL my hair out of my head.

This wasn't where I was supposed to be. I'm supposed to be just arriving back from my semester abroad in Italy or India and just starting my internship with Congressman So and So. Taking a small course load because I was able to do so much with my previous semesters that I only need 9 hours to graduate and my grades are top notch. They are enough to get me into grad school at Georgetown where I will be starting my Masters in International Studies in the fall of 08'.

Instead theres less than 40 hours complete on my transcript and nothing to show for the last 4 years I've spent working full time, except this tiny 1 bedroom apartment and my cat who eats too much. No sir, this is not how I imagined myself at 21.

Now, I get it. I'm very young in the wide spectrum of things. I just last year learned how to drink legally. But as a 21 year old you look around, you see people like Miley Cyrus selling millions of albums and selling out stadiums all over the country at 16. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a pop superstar, but it would be nice every once in a while to not worry about the financial part of life. Ha!

So here it is. My life's goal. I want to be Tim Russert. Ha. Hell, I'd settle to meet Tim Russert. He's one bad ass dude, and if I could spend every Sunday with fellow news commentators, political leaders, and national figureheads, it would start off every week with a bang.

So there's a little about me. I'll try to bitch less about my life and a little more about the thing that drives me, politics.

Read, comment, bitch right back, put me in my place, I love constructive criticism, but most of all enjoy. This year is going to be a bumpy ride.

.end.